Thursday 12. December 2019

On Silence - Paul Goodman

This is a brilliant list. I was trying to distinguish those different types of silence myself. Always wondering when someone "isn't responding" if there's something wise, hidden in their gesture or if it's simply pure ignorance. Hard to tell, and maybe it doesn't matter as much as I thought it does. However, Paul Goodmann's list is good to keep in mind: 

Not speaking and speaking are both human ways of being in the world, and there are kinds and grades of each. 

- There is the dumb silence of slumber or apathy 

- The sober silence that goes with a solemn animal face

- The fertile silence of awareness, pasturing the soul, whence emerge new thoughts 

- The alive silence of alert perception, ready to say, “This… this…”

Lament of an Empress

in my castle there are a lot of servants

they despite me for my lathy breath  
when they look into their mirrors
it’s my demanding gaze they see  

see, i gave them opportunities 
a purpose; i realized now: this wasn’t enough   
they kept hollowing the hive for meaning 
therefore: i’m loosing mine

Putting stuff into Perspective

what’s the date today? ah, los angeles… so it must be 2008
wait! this song, remember? at the train station; give me another drag
“don’t leave me, don’t leave me…” colors, rain, grandmothers hand
it was 1980 back then, wasn’t it?

(i’m just trying to put memories into perspective
mapping out a time line)   

someone’s knocking at my door! ah, i’m in vienna… so it’s 1999
wait! it’s a chinese kid, the door opens… it runs into my arms and cries
“don’t leave me, don’t leave me…” but, this kid! it’s not mine
it was 1980 back then, wasn’t it?

(i’m just trying to put nightmares into perspective
mapping out a meaning) 

My Dinner Party with God & Devil

At this one special night, I invited god and the devil for dinner. I was surprised, they looked identical. Like twins. 

To not confuse them I placed god on the right and the devil on the left side of the table.

Right before the main course, the devil started an argument. ...typical, I thought. But what to expect different from the devil?! It became nasty. They got into a fist fight. Knocked over the table, the food and wine got on the floor... And they rolled right in the middle of it. I started to wonder what was the reason for their fight?

Another move, finally arriving in Alphaville

I'm not sure anymore how many times I moved my hometown in the last few years, but I must admit, it's becoming a habit. Regardless where I've been, or where I am: the struggle is the same.


High-lights from "Against Interpretation" by Susan Sontag

This following is an excerpt from Susan Sontag's essay "Against Interpretation". It fell into my hands few days ago and while reading I inevitably had to think about all the wrong-doings I did towards works of art. AND I understand now why I got stuck so many times in my own writing work.

Instead of going after the characters intensions, I started to interpret my own process of writing. To find out "what it means", so that it can be understood by my readers/viewers. I've learned to trust the process and leave the head out of the room, while writing. An incredible valuable lesson conveyed in this one simple essay. I'm holding the words below close when dealing with art, literature, film, psychology and mysticism. 


[...] The task of interpretation is virtually one of translation. The interpreter says: "Look, don't you see that X is really Y, or really means A? That C is really B? That Z is K?
Interpretation first appears in the culture of late classical antiquity, when the power and credibility of myth had been broken by the "realistic" view of the world introduced by scientific enlightenment. Once the question that haunts post-mythic consciousness-that of the seemliness of religious symbols-had been asked, the ancient texts were, summoned, to reconcile the ancient tests to "modern" demands.


Notes on evolving consciousness form the book “Metagenealogy”, by Alejandro Jodorowsky & Marianne Costa

A level of consciousness does not become toxic unless one continues to live according to it instead of moving to the next level, and growing up. It is tragic, for example, to act and to think like a child or an adolescent while being in the body of an adult.

Each level of consciousness implies a central unit, or reference point, that helps a person define what his own world revolves around. Those stages are not moral or ethical dogmas.

1) Animal-Survival stage / Reference points: Need for the clan, family, history. Living exclusively along the axis of predator/prey. Struggle for survival, ongoing violence.

Governing body parts are mouth and stomach. When an adult is locked on this level of consciousness it can show for example as superstition and violencein the name of religious believes. Whoever is not my faith threatens me; religious affiliation becomes the logic of survival and a person will attack someone simply for being of another religion.

2) Infantile-Consumer stage / Level of the ultimate child: dependent and playful, consumes without ever producing anything; does not work but plays like grown up. Dream and imagination are adjacent to reality. Phrase: “Give me.” At this stage we have the right to be useless to society, and it is vital that those who take care of us like parents and teachers accept us.

An industrial society needs the infantile-consumer to survive. Dependent and materialistic. Orchestrated conviction that this or that product is indispensable. Willingly irresponsible, feeding off illusions and products of no real value. On an emotional level: incapable of putting others interest before own. “Blind faith”, in dogma and religion.

Untitled Poem

I can see your heart. I see how weak it is. 
Kept in a cage. Nurtured by sweet black water. 
A plastic toy being your mother. Dreaming 
of becoming strong; by accident.

First contact with Chinese Tea Ceremony

The first cup moistens my lips and throat.
The second cup breaks my loneliness. 
The third cup searches my barren entrails but to find therein some thousand volumes of odd ideographs. 
The fourth cup raises a slight perspiration — all the wrongs of life pass out through my pores. the fifth cup I am purified. 

The sixth cup calls me to the realms of the immortals. 
The seventh cup — Ah! but I could take no more! I only feel the breath of the cool wind that raises in my sleeves.

Where is Elysium? 
Let me ride on this sweet breeze and waft away thither.  - Lo T'ung

Zarathustra lights the way out of the dark

Chapter: "Self Overcoming"

"Will to Truth" do ye call it, ye wisest ones, that which impelleth you and maketh you ardent?

Will for the thinkableness of all being: thus do I call your will! All being would ye make thinkable: for ye doubt with good reason whether it be already thinkable.


But it shall accommodate and bend itself to you! So willeth your will. Smooth shall it become and subject to the spirit, as its mirror and reflection. That is your entire will, ye wisest ones, as a Will to Power; and even when ye speak of good and evil, and of estimates of value.

Ye would still create a world before which ye can bow the knee: such is your ultimate hope and ecstasy.

The ignorant, to be sure, the people- they are like a river on which a boat floateth along: and in the boat sit the estimates of value, solemn and disguised.

Your will and your valuations have ye put on the river of becoming; it betrayeth unto me an old Will to Power, what is believed by the people as good and evil.

It was ye, ye wisest ones, who put such guests in this boat, and gave them pomp and proud names- ye and your ruling Will!

Onward the river now carrieth your boat: it must carry it. A small matter if the rough wave foameth and angrily resisteth its keel!

It is not the river that is your danger and the end of your good and evil, ye wisest ones: but that Will itself, the Will to Power- the unexhausted, procreating life-will.
But that ye may understand my gospel of good and evil, for that purpose will I tell you my gospel of life, and of the nature of all living things.

The living thing did I follow; I walked in the broadest and narrowest paths to learn its nature.

With a hundred-faced mirror did I catch its glance when its mouth was shut, so that its eye might speak unto me. And its eye spake unto me.

But wherever I found living things, there heard I also the language of obedience. All living things are obeying things.
And this heard I secondly: Whatever cannot obey itself, is commanded. Such is the nature of living things.

Life goals (in progress) during Mid-thirties

Get a dog
A dog loves you unconditionally. A dog thinks you are the greatest, coolest, smartest, most successful person in the world. Get a dog and work hard to live up to his expectations.


Challenge yourself
Set goals that make you uncomfortable. It is a cop-out to make things too easy - always take it to the next level and don't be afraid to fail. I would rather fail trying to do something that made me expand my abilities and work harder than I ever thought I could rather than succeed at doing something I knew I could accomplish with my eyes closed. "First you fail, then you fail better", says Beckett. 

There are four rules to Directing

1) Shut the f**k up! ...only then you can listen

2) Prepare, then improvise

3) 1 + 1 = 3

4) Bring a pair of fresh socks to set


Brilliant advice

A "self-help" text by Mayo Oshin

There’s a small voice in your head that seems to pop up, especially when you plan to take action towards your goals. This voice whispers to you…

“These ideas won’t work for me”, “What if it isn’t good enough?”, “Can I really do this?”, “What if I fail?”….

This voice can get so strong that it eventually takes control of your life. No matter what you try to do to fight this voice, it just get’s louder and more powerful. 

And then, instead of achieving your goals, you’ve made little progress because this voice of self-doubt has crippled your belief in yourself.

If you don’t believe in yourself, how can you achieve the level of success you desire? i.e. build that dream business, write that bestselling book, lose weight and so on. And what if instead of having self-doubt in your abilities, you would believe in yourself?

Let me share with you 3 simple, but powerful strategies you can use to believe in yourself and start making better progress in your life today.


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